


Consequentialism

by RingThroughSpace



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: Gen, No infants died in this story, The baby Hitler problem and its solutions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 18:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RingThroughSpace/pseuds/RingThroughSpace
Summary: What are time machines for, if not killing Hitler?





	Consequentialism

Wade carefully counted to one hundred after the woman left the room. He had stalked her long enough to know that she would fall asleep quickly. Like all new mothers, she was exhausted. That was good. It gave him time.

He was still quiet as he crept across the room to the cradle. He peered in. Hitler lay on a homemade blanket, his eyes closed, sucking his thumb. Wade steeled himself. He knew what needed to happen. He had rehearsed this moment for days. He knew what needed to be done.

Yet, even as his hand was descending, the future leader of the Nazi Party opened his eyes. He didn't cry. Instead, he reached for Wade's hand with an open-mouthed smile.

Wade's hand stopped in mid-movement. The man whose gas chambers would murder countless Jewish children grabbed Wade's thumb and tried to move pull it to his mouth. Wade pulled his hand back in shock, and the baby's face scrunched up. For a moment, Wade thought the infant might cry, but instead he found his own thumb and began to suck it contently.

Wade had killed entire Mafia families. He had slaughtered supervillains. None of his victims had killed as many people as the man lying before him. 

He couldn't do it.

_Not tonight, at least._

He would come back later, he told himself. He would visit Auschwitz in person. Then he could come back and do what needed to be done.

The man who would invade Europe was sucking on his toes.

_There has to be another way._

Staring into the cradle, an idea began to form.

***

Vanessa sat numbly on the toilet. Blood again. They had been trying for three years now. Every month felt like a failure.

_There's nothing wrong with you,_ the doctor had told her the last time she had visited her. _Perhaps your husband is at fault. Next time, send him in, and we can test him._

Wade couldn't visit a doctor. There would be too many questions.

Through the door, she heard a baby cry.

She rushed into the living room. Wade was standing there, his mask removed but otherwise still in his stupid suit. There was a baby in his arms. "Hello," he said.

She stared at him in silent question.

After a moment, Wade spoke. "I found him on a recent mission. I was supposed to kill him. I couldn't do it."

"You were supposed to kill a *child*?" Vanessa asked. She knew that his missions could be brutal, but she'd assumed he'd have some standards.

"His family is dead," Wade said, without answering her question. "No one can know who he is. And all I could think is that you had wanted a baby."

She still studied him for a moment, disbelieving, but need overcame her. "Are you sure no one will look for him?" she asked.

"No," Wade said. "And I thought -- this might be the safest place for him."

She could feel the smile twist her cheeks. "Give him to me," she said. "Please."

He passed her the boy. The infant smiled up at her.

This was a terrible idea. There would be paperwork to fill out, questions that couldn't easily be answered.

But there would also be a baby at the end.

"Have you picked out a name?" she asked.

"No," Wade said. "I thought you might want to."

She thought for a moment before answering. "I'll call him Jonathan."

"Jonathan it is," Wade said.

In her arms, baby Jonathan yawned once and then closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I sort of want to apologize for this. Hitler's alternative career choices are a standard and slightly problematic trope in sf/f. Pol Pot and Stalin will forever be genocidal dictators, but Hitler is a genocidal dictator who _could_ have been a bigoted noir detective ( _A Man Lies Dreaming_ ) or a writer ( _The Iron Dream_ ) or taken a dozen other career paths, all of them terrible but none of them involving the deaths of millions.
> 
> That said, I couldn't get this plot bunny out of my head until I wrote it down.


End file.
